


My Tweeting Nemesis

by darktensh17



Category: Dragon Age - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Gen, M/M, Silly
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-03
Updated: 2015-04-13
Packaged: 2018-03-20 23:54:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,701
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3669732
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/darktensh17/pseuds/darktensh17
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Hawke's neighbour is sexy, but his bird is the devil.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Based on the prompt “The pet bird that you have overlooking your balcony shit talks me whenever I go out on my own balcony.“ Leto is based off my own little demonic lovebird.

Garrett Hawke yawned as he stepped out onto his apartment’s balcony, stretching as he felt the first hot rays of sunshine on his skin. It looked like today was going to be another glorious day that in the anti-paradise that was Kirkwall. 

For the moment Garrett had no cares in the world, as he pulled out a pack of smokes from back pockets of his jeans for his morning smoke. Pulling one out and grabbing his lighter, he was just about to light it when he heard the sound he most dreaded in the morning.

PEEP PEEP PEEP! 

Looking over at the balcony to his left, Garrett wasn’t surprised to see his arch nemesis staring at him from behind the bars of her cage. Half the size of his fist with a black head, grey neck and breast, and back and tail feathers going from dark blue to light blue to dark blue again, the lovebird staring at him with her dark eyes may be lovely but Garrett knew that she was evil incarnate. 

Seeing him looking at her she let out another series of angry peeps, she didn’t speak any words but her smack talk was clear enough to him. Garrett spent almost every morning over the last year listening to her angry peeps and chirps. In the period of that year, her hatred appeared to be directed solely at him, despite the fact that Garrett had friends over constantly, all of whom had gone out on the balcony several times. She didn’t even bother Duke, Garrett’s large mabari, who would spend hours staring at her. 

With a mournful sigh, Garrett put his cigarette away, if the she devil was out there would be no smoking due to the fact that the smoke was dangerous to her. It’s not that Garrett had any care for the demon, but it was in his best interest to ensure that she lived a long happy life so long as he was living next door to her. 

The reason for which was currently coming out of his own apartment shirtless with just a pair of tight black pants on. Judging from the droplets of water on his chest and his wet hair, he’d just gotten out of the shower. Suddenly Garrett’s track pants felt too tight and his craving for a cigarette shot through the roof.

He watched as his neighbour bent over the lovebird’s cage and smiled down at her. “Were you good while I was away Leto?” His voice was deep, and Garrett found it positively orgasmic to listen to. If he stayed out here too much longer he was going to need a change of pants. 

Leto chirp merrily at him, jumping over to have him scratch her through the bars of the cage. She didn’t try to take off his finger like she had the few times Garrett had tried to scratch her. The smile that she received as she turned moved her head around made Garrett’s stomach churn with jealousy. He was not above admitting that he wanted to be Leto at that moment. 

Sighing Garrett prepared to head back in only to have his attention called back to the neighbouring balcony. “She wasn’t bothering you, was she?” Shocked he turned to face his neighbour, who had never really spoken to him before other than the occasional greeting in the hallway. 

“Ah. . .n-no of course not! She’s great company!” Garrett could see Leto giving him the stink eye from her cage, but her owner offered Garrett a small smile at those words.

“I am relieved to hear that, I have been told she can be a handful around others.” The words were an understatement but Garrett didn’t voice that thought out loud, especially not when his neighbour was leaning over the space between their two balconies and offering his hand. “I’m Fenris. I realize that we’ve never really talked since I moved in last year.”

Garrett knew Fenris’ name, he’d overheard it once or twice when the man had guests over, but it was nice for be officially introduced to each other. “I’m Garrett, and I’m sure you’ve seen my mutt Duke hanging around.” He took Fenris’ hand, noticing that it was slightly calloused but warm, there were also white tattoos running both on the back of his had and over the palm. They were the same white tattoos that seemed to go over every inch of Fenris’ body, starting at his chin. Garrett had experienced quite a few dreams where he discovered all of those tattoos with his tongue. They were some of his favourite dreams

Fenris chuckled. “Yes, Leto seems to enjoy teasing him.” An understatement but the two animals seemed to enjoy their little game, and Garrett was fine to leave things how they were. 

Grinning like an idiot, Garrett laughed as well. “Duke enjoys it, so it’s all well and good. They seem to keep each other company when no one is home.” 

“It is good that they get along so well. Perhaps their owners should follow their example.” Fenris suggested, straightening up and causally leaning against the wall. 

Garrett’s mind did the equivalent of a teenager squealing after meeting her idol at Fenris’ words. Not wanting to look like a weirdo, he merely grinned and nodded, hopefully not too eagerly. “I think so to, after all we are neighbours.” 

Fenris nodded as well, looking down at Leto as she peeped for his attention. “Perhaps you can join me for dinner tonight then, to get to know each other as neighbours.” He leaned over and picked up Leto’s cage to bring her inside with him. 

“That would be great; I can bring over some wine.” If Garrett’s eavesdropping were correct, Fenris’ favourite alcoholic beverage was wine, particularly fruity wines.

The suggestion got him a pleased smile. “I look forward to it then. Be here at six.” Inclining his head Hawke’s he and Leto headed inside. Garrett fought back a whoop as he finally dug out a cigarette, who knew having an evil lovebird nemesis would get him dinner with one of the hottest men he had ever met in his life. Today really was a good day.


	2. Chapter 2

“Hi.” Garrett said lamely as he stood in front of Fenris’ door with three bottles of wine in a bag in his arms. “I hope I’m not too early.”

Fenris chuckled and shook his head, moving to the side to let Garrett in. “You’re not, though I admit I haven’t gotten anything started yet. So long as you have no issues with watching me cook you are welcome to come in.” 

Garrett shook his head, grinning at Fenris. “I don’t mind at all.” He slipped inside and took a look around the apartment. Physically it was laid out the same as his; the living room/dinning room were separated from the kitchen by two walls, and then there was a hallway that presumably lead to the bathroom and the one bedroom. 

Despite the fact that Fenris had been living here for a year, Garrett was surprised how sparsely furnished the place seemed to be. There was a love seat and a recliner for seating in the living room, a meter long coffee table and a small entertainment unit with a modest sized flat screen sitting on it. There wasn’t much for pictures on the walls; Garrett couldn’t see any pictures that looked like they were of Fenris’ family or potential girlfriend/boyfriend. 

He placed the bag of wine on the four person dinning room table, and took a seat in one of the chairs. Taking out the bottled, Garrett was pleased when Fenris nodded in approval after looking at the selection Garrett had brought.

“This is a good wine, you have fine taste.” Fenris remarked, going over to the wine cabinet that took up one of the small walls of the dinning room and pulling out two wine glasses. 

“One thing you’ll learn about me is that I’ve got great taste, expect possibly in jokes if you believe any of my friends. Which, you shouldn’t,” Garrett added, “because they are horrible liars who seek only to lessen my character.”

The comment earned him an amused chuckle; Fenris’ laugh was becoming one of Garrett’s favourite things. “I shall keep that in mind.” Once he had the wine poured he handed a glass to Garrett, their fingers brushing briefly. “Your choice will go well with dinner.”

“What are you making?” Taking a sip of the wine, Garrett hummed in approval at the taste, he really had chosen well.

“Baked penne pasta in marinara sauce with Tevinter sausage and cheesy garlic bread; or at least that is the plan when I get started.” Fenris answered as he made his way into the kitchen, bringing his wine with him.

Garrett’s stomach rumbled at the sound of it. “It sounds delicious.”

Fenris hummed in agreement, beginning to bang around in the kitchen as he got things ready. “You will have to be content with packaged pasta; I did not have time to make my own. The sauce however is from the batch I made two months ago, and the bread from two days ago. I have a friend who works at a butcher shop and makes the sausage.”

He said content as though it were an insult to Garrett that he wasn’t serving homemade pasta. For Garrett this was like a meal fit for a king; he was feeling half way between unworthy and needing to snag Fenris so that he could have meals like this everyday. Not that he voice any of this. “That’s more than alright.” Was what he ended up saying inadequately.

While Fenris cooked, he and Garrett made mostly small talk. Things were going great until evil reared her ugly head with several loud PEEPEEPEPEPEPEPEs! Garrett cringed slightly at the sound as Fenris chuckled and ignored it. “I have Leto in her cage in my bedroom so that she doesn’t make a nuisance of herself. She is not particularly pleased with it.” 

Several more angry peeps came from down the hall as though Leto were agreeing with her owner.

Garrett was relieved that he wouldn’t have to deal with his nemesis tonight. He didn’t want to have to compete with a bird for Fenris’ attention and possibly affections. Not that Garrett expected anything outward to come out of the night, but it was easier to get to know someone one on one without something stealing away either of their attention.

“I do the same with Duke when I have guests that aren’t familiar with him over. When it’s my close friends I let him socialize.” It was that or listen to him whine for hours on end as he heard everyone having fun. Luckily Garrett’s friends loved Duke, so the mabari usually got his way. 

Fenris laughed in agreement. “Leto is the same, though I tend to keep her in her cage if any company is around. She has a tendency to bite, especially those she does not like, and unfortunately she does not like many people.” 

Garrett believed that statement whole heartedly; Leto certainly didn’t like him.

“Dinner should be ready in half an hour.” Fenris told him afterward, coming out of the kitchen to join Garrett at the table. “Everything is in the oven. I fried the sausage before putting them in the bake so that they would cook faster.” 

“No problem.” Noticing that Fenris’ glass was empty, Garrett poured him another, he was already on his third. He tended to drink when he was nervous, and at the moment he was very nervous. “So are you a cook or something? I’ve never had anything so fancy for dinner unless it was at a restaurant.” 

Fenris’ smile was a bit strained as he accepted his glass back and took a long sip of the wine. “I did some time working at a restaurant a few years ago and picked up some skills, but I am not a cook by any stretch of the imagination. I am somewhat of a jack of all trades; taking work where I can find it over the years.”

Garrett was intrigued. “What do you do now? I have an office job personally.” It was working in the Viscount’ office, and actually involved taking care of the less legal aspects of keeping Kirkwall running smoothly, but Fenris didn’t need to know that. 

There was a moment of hesitation before Fenris answered. “Currently I am working as a bartender at a night club as well on top of my usual job as a contributing writer to several magazines.” 

Garrett wondered if he’d ever ready any article Fenris had written. “What sort of magazines?” 

“Whatever type is appropriate for the subject that caught my interest.” The answer was vague, but Garrett didn’t press the topic, sensing that Fenris didn’t want to elaborate. It was time to find a new topic to discuss. 

“I noticed your wine cabinet,” Garret began, not too sure what to change the topic to, “You have a quite a variety.

Fenris’ gaze turned to the cabinet, his expression less closed off. “It is one of the few luxuries I allow myself. Wine is something I enjoy greatly and over the past year I have amassed a bit of a collection.” He poured himself his third glass of wine. “It would be nice to have more people to enjoy it with though.” 

Garrett noticed those green eyes watching him out of the corner of his eyes and his heart sped up. Could Fenris’ goals for this dinner be along the same lines as Garrett’s own? He didn’t want to get ahead of himself though. “I’m always up for a good bottle of wine if you ever want, and as a bonus I’m right next door.” So much for not getting ahead of himself. 

“Perhaps I shall take you up on that.” Fenris replied with a playful smirk Garrett’s way. 

Face heating up, Garrett busied himself with his wine and looking toward the kitchen. “Dinner smells good. It’s reminding me that I’m starving.” His stomach growled in agreement at the statement. 

Laughing, Fenris made his way into the kitchen. “It should be ready any minute.” Soon after the words left his mouth the oven dinged merrily signalling that the food was indeed ready. 

Garrett took a moment to appreciate the way Fenris’ black slacks stretched over his amazing ass, before focusing his gaze on the food that Fenris pulled out of the oven. “That looks as amazing as it smells, and I bet it tastes just as great.”

“We shall see, if you like it I will send you home with the leftovers, I rarely eat them.” 

“Sounds good to me!” 

The food it turned out was better than it smelled, and Garrett had three plates of pasta and four pieces of garlic bread before he was too full to move. It didn’t leave much for leftovers, but true to his word, Fenris put what was left into a container for Hawke to bring home. They’d spent the meat talking about both serious and nonsensical things both seeming to be enjoying themselves quite a bit. Occasionally their conversation was interrupted by angry peeps and squeaks from the bedroom, which gave them a laugh.

“I enjoyed having you for dinner tonight.” Fenris told Garrett at the end of the night, as Garrett got ready to leave. “I think I am inclined to invite you over again.”

Garrett smiled brightly at that. “How about I take you out next time, treat you to a fancy dinner, maybe a movie?” 

One of Fenris’ silver brows rose at that. “Are you asking me out on a date Garrett Hawke?”

“If I was would you say yes?” Garrett queried back in an attempt at a charming manner.

“I think I may.” 

Fighting the urge to do a mini fist pump, Garrett knew he was grinning like a fool. “How about next Saturday at six?”

“It’s a date. I will see you around Garrett.” 

“Sooner rather than later I hope.” Garrett said, waving as he headed back to his own apartment, feeling like he was on cloud number nine.


End file.
